'Let’s go see that new Justin Timberlake movie …'
8 words I thought would never come out of my mouth …
But yes, just the other day … was heading to the movies … and that came out of my mouth.
His new movie 'In Time' … looks like something I would like to check out.
I have to give Justin Timberlake credit … I could easily just rail on him … you know for the whole boy band, ‘NSYNC thing … but that dude is talented … very very talented.
Check out Alpha Dog sometime … he’s got a small, supporting role, but you can tell he’s got it. The screen isn’t too big for him.
By now most of you have seen him in The Social Network as Sean Parker and he is outstanding and more than holds his own in an Oscar nominated film.
Plus he was in the Saturday Night Live classic … Dick in a Box … (if you haven’t seen it … YouTube it … classic stuff)
So the kid can sing … he can act … he can laugh at himself … and he bangs every hot chick in Hollywood … so yeah … SINacle has no problem with Justin Timberlake.
And yes … I actually uttered those words about wanting to see his new movie … I actually laughed at myself when I said it.
'In Time' looks totally original and cool … about people who need time to survive … and can become immortal … which is great, because when I saw that they remade Footloose, I was convinced that Hollywood had basically run out of any original ideas.
This is where I would normally insert a joke like … maybe they’ll remake Footloose … ‘cept … well, they remade Footloose.
Well maybe they’ll remake Point Break.
Well, they did kind of when they did Fast and Furious … it was basically the same script, except they swapped surf boards for cars …
And speaking of Fast and Furious … I just caught Fast 5 … the fifth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise … this one brings back some of the characters from the prior movies and also co-stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson … and I am going to admit something right here on SINacle …
I am a sucker for all of these Fast and Furious movies … they are just crap … and I am glued to them like they are porn.
For some reason I love ‘em … Vin Diesel, fast cars …….. now, The Rock … it’s terrible man ……. but they have already announced Fast 6 coming out next year … and I am toeing that line of being one of those Star Wars or Harry Potter geeks that wait in line for tickets to the midnight showing.
Of course I will be the only one out there … but still, a total guilty pleasure.
So, I wish I had a full review of 'In Time' … would have been better for the Timberlake bit, but we ended up seeing Moneyball … which was great by the way.
In my opinion, Brad Pitt is America’s most underrated actor.
Seriously … ok, yes, this is bordering on some sort of SINacle man crush edition … Justin Timberlake, Vin Diesel, Brad Pitt …
But I just don’t think Brad Pitt gets enough credit for how good of an actor he actually is.
Look at his IMDB page sometime … first, he is in my favorite movie of all time: True Romance.
As Floyd, the stoner who smoke’s pot out of a honey bear.
But go back and check out some of his performances in movies like: Kalifornia, Interview with the Vampire, Legends of the Fall, Se7en, Troy, Burn After Reading, Inglorious Basterds …
and a couple of my all time favorites … as Mickey in Guy Ritchie’s Snatch and and the iconic Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
He gets so much tabloid, pretty boy hype … the Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie crap … but the dude is very talented at his craft … and again, a guy who can laugh at himself … check out his cameo in an old episode of Jackass.
Ok … enough man love …
So I was at WalMart or Kmart or some Mart and walked by where they had all of the Halloween costumes and, no I am not kidding … right by the witches and skeletons, they had a costume of Snooki.
Snooki … a costume of Snooki.
So you can go trick or treating dressed as the unholy troll from Jersey Shore.
They even had these paste on herpes just to make it truly authentic.
Snooki.
And you know who’s to blame for all of this?
Who is to blame for the fact that Snooki and the entire cast of Jersey Shore are all worth millions of dollars for just being atrocious examples of human beings …
You are America … you are to blame.
For celebrating it.
Shame on you.
So … a quick shout out to Steve Jobs. A lot has been written, so I wouldn’t disrespect the man by trying to type out some sort of SINacle epitaph … but one thing I would like to say …
Steve Jobs changed the world … there are Presidents who can’t say that.
Thank you Steve … you and your vision will be missed.
I would like to introduce a new SINacle bit ...
Things That Seem Like They Will Be Fun But Really Suck Ass:
Paddle Boats.
Yep, that’s it … the first installment.
God damn paddle boats … every time you think, hey, that will be fun … but they fucking suck ass.
Even as a kid I realized … too much effort, too little fun … plus you can't steer the mother fuckers and now my mom, who lives on a lake, has one and we go over there and my daughter always says … ‘Daddy, let’s go out on the paddle boat’.
And of course I go with her … and there we go peddle our asses off and go in a slow, frustrating circle …
FUN!
So there is an awful, disturbing show called: I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.
I think it’s on Discovery Channel.
Where women go into the bathroom, think they just have to take a monster shit, start wailing in pain and out plops a baby!
Yes … I am not kidding … never seen one, but see ‘highlights’ on the Soup.
So I am thinking … maybe there should be a show called:
I Thought The Fat Bitch Was Pregnant!
Where people recount their embarrassing times where they ask women how far along they are only to realize they aren’t pregnant …… they are just fat.
You know what I am talking about … and this will happen to you only once …… only once …
Cuz I don’t care if I see a chick and she looks like she is 14 months pregnant, there is no way and fuck I am saying anything about her being with child until she offers up some info that confirms it.
Anyone see Sinead O’Connor lately?
Geeezus … what happened???
I haven’t seen that chick since she went on Saturday Night Live and ripped up a picture of the Pope.
Well, I guess God had the last laugh cuz he blessed her with about 200 extra pounds.
In fact the next time we see Sinead she might be on an episode of: I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.
Can you win the NFL MVP award if you never play in a game?
Because I watched the Colts the other night against the Saints and it was fucking embarrassing.
So are you telling me, that WITH Peyton Manning you are Super Bowl contenders and WITHOUT Peyton Manning you cannot win a game? Hell, you can barely be competitive.
There is no player who means more to his own team than Peyton Manning means to the Colts.
So if I had a vote … Peyton Manning would be my NFL MVP for 2011 … without playing a down.
So if the NBA skips the entire season … do they have the lottery again?
Do you think the 1972 Miami Dolphins would be such dicks and root against any team going undefeated if the team challenging to go undefeated was the Miami Dolphins?
What is worse a sandwich when there are only heels of the bread left … or a bowl of cereal when you just get the bottom ‘cereal crumbs’ of the bag?
So I just turned 43 … my Troy Polamalu birthday (a story for another time) … so I turned 43 and here are two things that tell me I am getting old …
- I thought I had something in my nose … I looked up, in the mirror, tried to clean it out, etc … it was a grey nose hair
- I was went to the park with my daughter and we were on the swings … and I started to feel sick to my stomach …………… from the swings.
I used to ride every crazy mofo roller coaster there was … now I go on the kiddie swings with my little girl ……. nauseaus.
And this has been an installment of: You Know You’re Getting Old!
You know those guys who do the ‘kissing greeting’? You know the Richard Dawson, Family Fued, where you kiss on the lips girls, women you meet or to say hello.
I had a boss that did that … such a smarmy, weasly motherfucker and when he would come in he would kiss all the women at work and they fucking hated it. They would tell me.
A client would come in … he would kiss them.
And I would watch in amazement and think … How the in the hell do you start that???
I mean, what if I just went up and kissed the girls at work … on the mouth.
Hey, good morning (kiss).
They would be shocked, slap me, call HR … probably all three.
I asked my buddy Mark about that … his answer … there is no way he could do that cuz if he kisses a girl one hand automatically goes to a tittie.
Good point.
So I guess what it comes down to … there are two types of men … the first is the guy who can pull off the ‘kissing greeting’ and be unthreatening … the second is a guy who if he kisses a woman …
there is bad, bad intention …
I am proud to say … I am part of the second group.
Ok, I gotta run … it’s Halloween and this god damn Snooki costume is riding up on me …
- Until next time - SEM
 |
Kasabian |
 |
